Running to, or from?

It’s interesting the way we can wrestle with the things that we want in life, well at lease I know I do.

Take this upcoming adventure of ‘following my bliss’.  I am constantly questioning the sanity of it.  Why do I want to do it? What is it going to achieve? Why do I have to be difficult and not just settle down the way everyone else is.

The first time I did this, years ago, I had two very close friends question me on my motives.  Obviously they had been talking to each other as they both asked me if I was running away.  I was really angry with them, for the first time in my life I was doing something that really excited me and these guys were introducing doubt into my mind as to whether I really should be doing it.  How dare they!!  Maybe it hit a nerve because there was a certain element of truth to it – I was running away from a mediocre existence.  The interesting thing I discovered further down the track however was that what I was doing challenged both of them.  Within a year of me leaving Australia, both of them had made plans to do so as well.

Even though I know all this and have spent most of my life following a life that excites me I still doubt.  I look at the people around me and their responses to what I am doing and I can tell that I clearly am not filling their expectations.  I think sometimes when we single ourselves out to do something different from the social norm it creates a sense of threat in others.  I sometimes wonder whether we are so habituated into doing what everyone else is doing and what is expected that we don’t even think to wonder what it is we want for ourselves.  Historically the threat of being shunned from society has had us behaving in certain ways to ensure our survival within that community at a time when expulsion meant perishing.

I have just finished watching the ‘Abundance Code‘ on Food Matters TV which was great!  Everything I needed to hear right now.  It’s about following the thing that really pumps you up, doing the work that doesn’t seem like work, and improving your life through living your calling.  What I liked most about it was that it gave me permission to feel ‘right’ about what I am about to do and that it doesn’t matter that I don’t always know the next step or the outcome.  The important thing is that I am following my inner guidance and trusting.  Sometimes that just has to be enough.


Image from here


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